KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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