How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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