i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
