Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
