Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
