Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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