i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
