There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
