we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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