Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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