none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
