Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
