hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Semen is not good for contacts.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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