She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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