He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
