dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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