You're earring is so big in my mouth
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
