Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
