I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
