SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
