if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
