He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
