That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
