i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
