Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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