Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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