The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
