My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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