I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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