I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
