i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
