Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
