I don't think brook has ever known best
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize