I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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