That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
