i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
