so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
