How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
