Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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