You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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