I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Houston, we have a blender
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
