I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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