apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
