I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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