Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize