i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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