Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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