My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
