strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
