Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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