which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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