I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
