Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
