He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
