Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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