Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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