Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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