found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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